Persistence
Yesterday the stock market was out of control. It closed 128 points down from Thursday, but before the closing bell, it swung wildly - at one point dropping down to about 8000. Here’s what it looked like on the charts. Bear with me here. This will eventually get around to thoughts on yoga practice.
The last week has been terrible for just about anyone who has investments of any kind. Retirement accounts, 529 plans for college education, mutual funds, or just plain old individual stocks - it was all hurting.
Personally, I’ve lost way more than I care to think about from my retirement and kids’ college funds.
Yet, what’s a person to do? Take everything out of the markets and stuff it into a mattress? Maybe, but if you do, make sure it’s gold and not paper dollar bills (which haven’t been backed by gold for about 30 years now). Instead, however, I think the best course of action is to remain calm, stick to your economic principles and strategies, and keep at it. This is one of those moments where fear, uncertainty and doubt take hold. But don’t let it control you!
This is all prelude to what my week has been like with my practice. It has mirrored the stock market. I’ve had a terrible week. So bad that I’ve seriously thought about giving it all up and taking up cycling again.
Because I’ve been very busy I was only able to go a couple of times: Monday and Thursday. But both times I suffered tremendously. I couldn’t breathe. The heat was killing me. I wanted to leave. I sat out about 1/3 of each class. I was extremely unhappy.
Friday, I went to the 9AM class. I was dreading it, given how difficult things have been this week. From the moment I walked into the room I felt like it was too hot and/or humid. I was seriously sweating even before the first breathing exercise, and once we began I truly felt like crying. After the second set of Pranayama I just couldn’t take it - mentally. Why was this happening to me? I gathered all my stuff, walked out the door, and drove home.
All day I was miserable, and it just kept getting worse and worse. Take a look at that graph again. That big slide from 9:30AM to 4PM - that was me too. And to top it all off, it was my 10th anniversary (with my very lovely wife, Katie).
We planned a dinner at Table and I really didn’t want to ruin our plans for the evening because I was grumpy. So by 4PM (look at the graph!) I sucked it up and went back to the afternoon practice.
I walked into the room and you know what? The same thing happened again. Hot, hot, hot. Sweat, sweat, sweat. But this time I was persistent and I found strength in that. I rallied, and all the unhappiness of the afternoon began to wash away.
Every day is a chance to reach inside yourself and find strength and determination you didn’t know you had. Every day is a chance to work towards self-realization. This week I learned that the path is not a series of individual moments. The journey is something unto itself. And my practice is more than stretching in a hot room. It is about persistence - living the practice and not just doing it.
